1. Humans Judge
We judge. We are a society that thrives on judging others. We all do it and most of the time can’t stop doing it, despite our best intentions. We judge everything about others, how they dress, their hair cut, their religious believes, how they speak, their behaviour, what they eat, how large or thin they are etc.
Let me say this before I carry on. I am sure that the words coming next will resonate with you because I consider people visiting my website more consciously aware, seekers of the truth, people who have already left the dark place of uncertainty and confusion and are ready to embrace change. This article is for you because I trust in you and your powers to make this world a better place.
In this article, I want to focus on those situations when we have to face a person whose behaviour is unappealing, annoying and irritating to us. This person could be anyone, a work colleague, a cashier at the grocery store, a car or lorry driver, a relative or a random stranger in the pub or it could even be a partner. Unfortunately, chronically unhappy and angry people are everywhere and we have to deal with how we allow them to make us feel. This concept may seem a bit distorted, but it is not.
You can in fact, at any one time, consciously decide how you want to emotionally respond to the environment around you, as emotions are an act of deliberate choice. When you can’t control them, and I am sure you have experienced this, you will be like a flag in a storm, powerless and emotionally vulnerable.
2. Give love
So, people who are extremely irritating, annoying, offensive, bullying, are those who actually need love the most, because they may have been deprived of love for so long. They may also need more comprehension and understanding. They need healing, somebody to speak to, a gentle gesture, a smile, a small touch, a hug. These people most possibly live a reality of much distress, pain and frustrations, which may be the cause of their emotional or even physical illness.
They might spend years going in a circle, lost in their sick mindset, because of facing a divorce, a sick child, the death of an old good friend, a dying parent, the recent loss of their job. Please excuse my language here, but I believe that a person who we describe as a dickhead, a cock, a bitch or son of one, is a person that should instead be called a “sufferer”.
3. What can we do when facing a “sufferer”?
- Protect yourself. Remember that neurons that fire together, wires together. This simply means you will become the people you spent time with, so choose your network wisely.
- Feel what you feel and act, but don’t react! Unless it is a dangerous situation, take three deep breaths before addressing an irritating sufferer.
- Do not blame yourself for what you feel about the other person.
- Do not judge other people, because you do not know what they are going through. Everyone is fighting his or her own battle. We simply have different degrees of hiding the pain.
- If you would like to know how to maturely structure and manage your emotional blueprint, thinking and behaviour, I will recommend a book from Daniel Goleman called “Emotional Intelligence“, especially if you had a difficult childhood, with emotionally distant and perhaps abusive parents.
- Be mindful of what you feel and try to understand what your feelings are attached to, why you feel what you feel because in the end, we do not see the world as the world is, but as we are. So, maybe, what you see in the other person is just a reflection of what is within you.
- If the sufferer is a person close to you, appreciate the good sides in them everyone has positive aspects, and tell them how good they are in …
- Remember you can change your moods after an emotional accident quite instantly by intentionally choosing so. Think for instance about your last summer holiday, your last orgasm, the music you like the most, somebody you love. Keep your attention on these positive images and notice your moods uplift.
- Gift someone close to you, who needs emotional support and growth, with one of the three books I mention in “My Journey to Nutrition” in the “ABOUT” section. As a general rule to go by: if you have more, give more.
- Share this article and this website with anyone you believe needs it.
- And lastly, be a compassionate human. As the Dalai Lama says: “those who show compassion, are truly happy”.
4. To conclude
Emotional health subjects are very deep and complex and it was not my intention to write this article with the purpose of giving all the answers but to help you think outside of the box for a moment.
Finally, be wary of your internal chatterbox, the constant voice that subconsciously speaks to you, it could be your friend or worse enemy. If it is loving, kind and positive, then you are in a good emotional place; if it is uncontrollable and negative at times, but you are consciously aware of it, you are in an ok place; if you can’t control it at all, then we got some work to do.
Author: Cristiano Percoco, BSc (Hons) Nutritional Therapy
Thank You for reading this article, I wish it was valuable to You. Please leave me a comment, so that we can all continue growing together. Also, please introduce people you care about to this website, if you believe it will be useful to them.